I'm Not Everyone's Cup of Tea...And I'm So Glad

When I was 17 I was fiercely and unapologetically myself. Peer pressure at that time in my life was much like trying to entice a dog with diamonds. Nothing but wasted effort.

Then I moved away, set out on an adventure I hadn't anticipated or necessarily wanted and life gave me a black eye or two (okay, maybe a few more than that). Pretty soon I began to think the only way to survive was to conform. So slowly, things changed. I changed. My clothes, my words, my actions. It all changed. And in all the changes I got lost for a while. I smiled politely and kept my thoughts to myself. I was closer to a Stepford Wife than anyone ever should be and I wasn't even married! I was turning into Playdoh. Fitting myself into whatever mold the situation called for. Always pleasant and eager to please. My own personal moral compass had become so clouded I could hardly distinguish what it was, let alone what it said! I had a few core values I managed to cling to, but other than that was lost. 

Then, after a while, I just got tired. I got tired of not even recognizing the person looking back at me in the mirror. She was foreign to me and wasn't someone I could respect. I got tired of no one knowing who I really was. It wasn't their fault- I could hardly remember myself! I got tired of pretending to agree when everything inside me was screaming to speak my mind. I got tired of letting life win by my concession. I got tired of being someone I would hate for my daughter to become. So I knew something had to change. I wasn't sure how I had gotten into this mess so I wasn't quite sure how to get out.

Then one day I heard a stranger utter words I would never forget. Words that struck me to the core and brought light and clarity to my mind. Words that would help me remember who I really was and have the courage to be myself once again. Words that I have shared time and time again with others struggling as I did with who they are and being true to themselves. Those simple words were, "You can be the sweetest peach in the whole orchard, and there will still be people who don't like peaches." 

Not the profound words you expected? Well that's the funny thing about words. They don't always have to be profound to strike a chord with you. They just have to really speak to you to be powerful. And that's exactly what those words were to me. I have found many great things said on the topic in the years since, but this is where my transformation began. With a simple comment about peaches. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Why do we convince ourselves that who we are isn't enough? It's insane. 

Why does everyone have to like everything we do, say, wear, think or believe? How boring life would be if we were all the same!

Over time I found my way back and realized the person I wanted to be. And I'm certainly not everyone's cup of tea. Although I never go out of my way to cause a stir, I'm also not the contortionist bending over backwards trying to make everyone who crosses my path love me anymore. I am happy with the person I am  even as I work to become a better version of myself. I don't need the world to approve of me. I am enough. I'm feisty, daring and strong. I make quilts and shoot guns. I run and kayak and build and cook. I'm a terrible housekeeper and a caring friend. I'm a work in progress. But most of all I'm unapologetically me.

So today I want you to take a minute to realize that YOU ARE ENOUGH. The world needs you to be who you really are. You have something to contribute to this world that no one else who now lives or ever has lived can give. There is only one you. Don't waste it. Embrace who you are and who you want to be. Don't give in when life roughs you up a bit. Be you. Life will take a few shots either way. 

-Kel

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